“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

Then the conversation switches to something mundane like the weather. Most of us have had similar moments, where we truly wished they had lingered on that question.

Did you know that every year on September 11, people in Australia (and now more places around the world) intentionally stop to ask one deceptively simple question: “Are you okay?”  It’s called R U OK? Day, and while it might look like just another date on the awareness calendar, it carries a surprisingly powerful message about the way we connect with each other and take care of our mental health.

The movement started back in 2009, when Australian ad executive Gavin Larkin founded R U OK? in memory of his father, who had died by suicide. Gavin wanted to honor his dad’s legacy by encouraging something that sounds almost too easy: to check in on the people around us. To not wait until a mental health crisis, but instead use everyday conversations to help prevent someone from slipping through the cracks. 

That’s why the campaign’s tagline is: “A conversation could change a life.”

The idea isn’t about saving all your check-ins for only one day. The hope is that it plants a seed so asking “Are you okay?” becomes second nature the other 364 days too.

Why It Matters

We live in an era where we’re supposedly more “connected” than ever, yet loneliness and isolation are skyrocketing. Mental health struggles often hide in plain sight behind busy calendars, social media smiles, and the polite “I’m fine.” For some people, being asked that simple question might be the first crack in the armor where honesty breaks through.

It’s also about normalising mental health conversations. Many people avoid the subject because they’re scared they won’t know what to say if someone actually replies, “No, I’m not okay.” But here’s the thing: you don’t need to fix anyone. You don’t need a psychology degree. 

You just need to listen.

How to Check In

So what does checking in look like in real life? Here are a few easy tips:

1. Choose your moment. Don’t yell “Are you okay?” across the office when someone looks stressed. Instead, grab coffee, go for a walk, or just pick a quiet moment where you can actually talk.
   
   

2. Ask open-ended questions. Instead of “You good?” try “How are you really doing?” or “What’s been on your mind lately?”
   
   

3. Listen without fixing. Resist the urge to jump in with advice. Sometimes just sitting in silence or nodding is exactly what the other person needs.
   
   

4. Encourage action. If the person opens up, gently suggest small steps such as talking to a friend, booking therapy (Hint: through Tala Thrive), or calling a helpline.
   
   

5. Check back in. The follow-up matters. It shows you weren’t just ticking a box and that you actually care.

Look After Yourself Too

One more thing: You can’t pour from an empty cup. R U OK? Day isn’t just about checking in on others. It’s also a reminder to check in with yourself. Pay attention to your own stress levels, get enough sleep, exercise regularly, and don’t be afraid to reach out for help if you’re not okay.

September 11 may look like just another date, but it’s an invitation to start conversations that matter. Asking “Are you okay?” might feel small, but in someone’s darkest hour, it could be the lifeline they didn’t know they needed.

It may be the first step to saving a life.

At Tala Thrive, we connect you with culturally competent therapists and coaches who understand your culture, language and/or religion, and can help you unpack why you may not be feeling ok.

Please book your first session today at Tala Thrive and join our community to get the support you need.

Remember, we want you to thrive - mentally, physically, and emotionally - so you can start living the life you truly deserve.